but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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