My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
