Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
