he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
4 words: hood of his car
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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