Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize