woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
