If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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