You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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