can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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