I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
