I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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