If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just want nice things and good sex
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
