I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I still have a little drunk in my system
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I would ride that face into the sunset
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
