The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
