Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize