I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
