are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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