Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
