do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
