he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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