Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
