He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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