oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
