I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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