I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
