Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
