yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
