You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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