Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Randomize
