Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
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