Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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