So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
