You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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