mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
