porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Sex in the backyard? Check.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
