hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
