U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
