Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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