I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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