Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
