I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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