Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
