so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
