I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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