Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
