i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
