you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
