Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Your penis caused this!
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