We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
