I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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