That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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