I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
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