im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
