a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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