wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
