just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
