i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
