just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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