I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
