whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
