ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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