are you still at the devil's house?
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
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