My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
