I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
