Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
