Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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