The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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