the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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