can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize
