it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
