i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
