I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
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