My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
