I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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